10 Things To Do When You're Losing

Last week I discussed my recent appearance on The Volleypod with Tod Mattox and Davis Ransom where I discussed the Goldilocks Method as applied to passing. In the second part of that podcast, I discussed their coaching scenario, which was, “what to do when your team is losing.” I brought a 10-part list.

1. Do Nothing

Or really, do nothing other than the way you already believe is the right way to coach. Studies of stock market investing show that the most costly investment decisions aren’t buying at the wrong time but selling at the wrong time. It’s exactly when you’re under stress that your decision-making is complicated, so, when in doubt, rely on the principles you’ve developed in times of clearer thinking.

2. Stop encouraging so much.

Compliments can be insults in disguise.

A coach calls a huddle, brings the team in and says, “alright, we need to stop #10 on the outside. Tod: we need you to get out on him and block that line shot. Can you do that for us? And Davis: oh Davis buddy, I know you can get this serve in. Come on, you can do it, I believe in you!”

Which guy does the coach really believe in? Tod, or Davis?

The desire to encourage is well-meaning, but it can sometimes come off as false.

3. Reaffirm core values

Your core values get tested in times of stress. Repeat and reaffirm them.

This is also the time when I believe it’s important to recommit to your team systems and how you play. Maybe you’ve built your team offense around the slide (I mean… hopefully not, but maybe you have) and spent a lot of the past few weeks training it. What message does it send to your team when you abandon it after a couple matches of misconnections or a hitting error at a critical time?

Choose your core values and critical system components wisely, and then stick to them.

4. Avoid "we" statements

I’m going to expand more on this in a future article, but the short version is that “we” statements can be vague (see the next item) or passive-aggressive if not used carefully.

Do “we” need to serve better, or is it one person that missed a couple critical serves?

5. Get ultra-specific

Do "we need to pick it up?" (there’s that “we” again)

Do "we need to play better defense?"

Or do "middle-back defenders need to stay balanced in middle-middle?"

One of those statements is a lot easier to tangibly change on the court.

6. Transform words into works

The Stoic philosopher Epictetus once said:

For even sheep do not vomit up their grass and show to the shepherds how much they have eaten; but when they have internally digested the pasture, they produce externally wool and milk. Do not show your theorems to the uninstructed, but show the acts which come from their digestion.

Or, as the wise Rachel Dawes once said "It's not who you are underneath, it's what you do that defines you.”

It’s easy to repeat your cool team slogans when things are going well. Teamwork, effort, hustle, etc. But in times of struggle you must ask your team, “are these just words that we say, or are these things that we do?”

7. Use the fuel of anger

Is there anything worse than being told to calm down when you’re angry? It’s literally a comedic trope.

And if I had to generalize, I’d say that male coaches are often more uncomfortable with female athletes expressing anger and even rage. Especially at the juniors level, there’s a tendency to want female teenage players to be bubbly little balls of sunshine.

But losing sucks! It’s okay to be angry about it!

“So is it okay to [insert crappy behavior] because you just lost?”

No. You’re entitled to whatever feelings you want but not whatever behaviors you want.

But… your players are entitled to whatever feelings that they want. Don’t tell them to calm down, or that it will be okay. Empathize and maybe… maybe, even harness a little bit of that rage. Davis shared a Coach K quote in that podcast that I loved:

“Anger is good if it makes you do good things.”

So maybe instead of telling your players to calm down and that it will be okay after a tough loss, maybe it’s, “this sucks, I’m fuming too. What do you say we get in early to practice tomorrow and do some extra passing?”

8. Build small victories

You build a house one brick at a time and players sometimes need to see progress to maintain motivation. That’s where I use The Triangle to diagnose matches and see how we stacked up.

Then, the message starts to become something like, “look, we actually had a small advantage in the Serve/Pass game, and we played them even in Transition, but if we want to beat this team, we need to clean up our execution in First Ball.”

That both gives players a sense of purpose and gives direction to your coaching.

9. Connect individually

There’s nothing better than a team video session after a big win. Sure, bring everybody into the team room and roll those highlights clips.¹ Awesome. But there’s nothing worse than the big team meeting after a big loss.

The “we” statements get tossed around. Players will either be hyper self-critical and tear themselves down or get passive-aggressive and start tossing the blame around. Then everybody gets defensive, etc, etc.

It’s a very tricky line to walk. And if we’re dealing with teenagers, it’s even trickier. Some of you know how challenging it is to run a good meeting. Especially with a lot of people. Especially if they are pissed off about something. Now you’re going to ask your players to contribute in that setting? You’re setting them up for failure.

Instead, lean more toward individual meetings. Sniff out the conflicts that are brewing. If the conflicts is with you, you can address it with that player individually, when both your guards are down. If it’s with a teammate, you can either mediate that conflict or you can guide that player toward some good solutions.

Also, read this book.

10. Believe

One time I was coaching a club team at a tournament. In a playoff match, there was a challenging situation where we fell down about 11-16 and I didn’t call a timeout. We ended up coming back and getting a nice win. Afterwards a parent came up to me and said something to the effect of, “wow you really let them play through that and they came back to win.”

I took the compliment for what it was inteded to be, but I think it totally missed the mark.

Letting them play through it implies that I had the magic wand to stop the run and reverse things, but I choose to test the team, in a sense.

But that wasn’t the case. I’m there to help the team. I’m (almost) never just sitting back and letting them play. But I looked out and saw a focused team that was ready for the next point and generally doing the right things… but it’s a bouncing ball filled with air and a few plays bounced the wrong way. So I believed that they were on the right track and would get the sideout and start turnign things around.

And I think, at a certain level, players sense that. As the great Marv Dunphy said, “you can fool a fool, you can con a con, but you can’t kid a kid.” Players sense when you believe in them and when you’re projecting false encouragement. See #2.

And I get it, sometimes these players make it hard to believe in them! Especially if you’re not coaching professionals. These kids are on a 15-3 team for a reason. But still, you (hopefully) wouldn’t have taken them on the team if you didn’t believe in something about this kid. So find what you do believe in, assign them something specific (#5) and start building small victories (#8). Sometimes it can be surprising what those small victories can add up to.

1. I actually still don’t really like doing that either.